YES, I'm annoyed! the answer to my scholarship-application should be here, today at the latest...but nothing! are they trying to make fun of me?? I'm feeling like crying, I've got to organise my whole life around this, but it's already starting from the July 1th...
if I get it, I have to cancel my job - and my boss' going to hate me, if I tell her just a week in advance
If I don't get it, I have to try to get another on, but the next closing date is September 1th or 15th and there's much more to it than only writing the same things again
Argh, again - I'm going to lose the rest of my little confidence and starting to think I'm a loser and stupid and it would be better just to stay a waitress for the rest of my life instead trying to get a PhD for whom I'll be to stupid and lazy and whatever

do you know how difficult it is to get Arashi stuff in Germany, or even get know some people who doesn't get to say "HÄH?" when I'm trying to talk about it...?!